There has been much hoopla about superheroes this year. With Batman: Dark Knight Rises, The Amazing Spiderman, Avengers, and Dred, we will experience some high-adrenalin graphics. Wait, how can I forget our own homies, our desi superheroes. The last desi blue-eyed gay super boy Ra.One will always be remembered, *ahem* for the jokes everyone made on it. Sorry everyone (that rhymes!), I have been said that this page’s google rankings would increase if I mention ‘the movie that shouldn’t be named’ five times. . Okay, moving forward, other memorable recent-years superheroes in the Indian cinema scene have been, the gaon ka gawaar turned masked dude Krrish, Sherwani clad Drona (seriously dude, sherwani!), and yours truly, respected, Shree Shree Rajni Saar as Chintu.. oh! Sorry, Chiti in Robot.
All said and done, I could never fathom one thing, why does no Indian superhero wear his underwear outside his pants like the Angrezi superheroes? Showing off chaddis and janghias in public like this would be too much against our sanskaar. The poor guy’s mom would have given him an earful, and made him wear his underwear inside his pants. And what about masks? Okay, what Krrish wears ain’t a mask, it’s a piece of toilet paper wrapped on his face. Our super boys don’t like masks, they like their hair parting or Mohawk to be intact. Boss, it’s too hot in India, how would you feel if somebody made you wear a helmet all day and run around the city? Be kind guru. Forget that, here comes the facepalm moment for you firangi superheroes (except ironman. Respect bro), how many of you got a girlfriend haan? How many of you have got laid? Indian superheroes always land the female. We don’t know whether they get laid, but at least sing and dance together till the end, no.
<Ra.One>
All those people out there who detest our home boys, and criticize their logic. Boss, go wash your face in gutter water. You go and see Sunny Deol uprooting a hand pump and scaring the entire Pakistani army no? You see a semi-naked Salman Khan beating up people for reasons beyond understanding. Then why not accept Shaktimaan having a pot belly and doing somersaults.
Okay, now that I have said Ra.One enough number of times and cribbed a lot. Here’s a collection of our unknown Indian superheroes, right from the Aalsi Batman archives. There you go.
The Indian Superman (1987)
Main tumhara khoon peejaunga.
Recognise this guy? He’s our very own Duryodhan, Puneet Issar playing ‘The Indian Superman’. This is a 1987 movie and has Dharmendra paaji playing Jor-El, along with Shakti Kapoor playing the other baddie. The funniest part is the flight being hijacked by a bunch of terrorists and the air hostess makes an announcement, “Please note, the flight has been hijacked. Thank you.”
Aao Chipkali man. Maaro mujhe!
Hunterwali (1935)
Hunter chala chala ke maarungi
Hunterwali is another epic superwoman-esque film with Australian Fearless Nadia as the protagonist. This is the story of a princess who leaves her fortunes to become Hunterwaali, “punisher of the evildoer and protector of the poor”. Oh! yes, for the ignorant souls, a hunter means whip in Hindi. In the climax, a dog rides a horse, beat that! yes, a dog rides a horse (rumors confirm). Needless to say, the sequel to this was named, ‘Hunterwali Ki Beti’.
Maa Ka Doodh Piya Hai To Saamne Aa!
Toofan (1989)
Toofan is the lesser known superhero movie of BigB after Ajooba. He is blessed by Bajrang Bali and wields a crossbow cum gun to fight evil. The movie has Amitabh Bachchan in a double role.
Hope you enjoyed reading. I plan to write a full-length post on “The Indian Superman”, Mr. X in Mumbai and the Tarzan series featuring Dara Singh. It’s epic-ness can’t be gauged in a single paragraph. And you thought, India didn’t have superheroes. On behalf of all ignorant souls, I beg pardon to the Baap of all superheroes.
Here’s few videos from the movie “Indian Superman” to keep you happy.
Aalsi Batman 